As we turn the corner to a new year, I really wanted to have an important conversation: how to get off the yoga practice hamster wheel and create a practice that actually works for you.

This matters to me SO much because I very regularly have conversations with people who think they’re doing it wrong, aren’t doing enough, can’t get it right, and on and on. The lists of ways people are hard on themselves in regard to their yoga practice is nearly endless. And, of course it is, right? We get this message everywhere!

So today we’re exploring the typical life cycle of a yoga practice and how you can get off that hamster wheel and figure out what works for you in a practical, doable way. If you’ve ever said to yourself, “Tomorrow I’m going to start my yoga practice for real,” then this episode is for you.

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Links for you

• Get on our email list right here to get first heads up when our annual sale starts on Dec. 28th!
• During the sale (Dec. 28-Jan. 4), click here and use the code 2020 to save 20% on your membership to our online studio!
• Studio bonus podcast: How to have your best practice year yet without discipline, self-judgment or hame — listen here or get the transcript here
• Got a question for our podcast community? Send your question to podcast@curvyyoga.com, text it to 615-852-8789, or tag/DM me on Instagram @CurvyYoga.

Transcript

[00:00:05] Welcome to Love Curvy Yoga, the podcast where we believe that yoga should make you feel more connected to your body, not less. Now let’s get into it.

[00:00:22] Hi and welcome! It’s really good to be back for our last episode of the year and decade.

[00:00:30] I never would have thought when I started this podcast in early 2014 that it would still be going at the end of the decade. I guess I am still partly on our topic from last week. So I had an idea recently, trust me that this is not usually something that Nic likes to hear me say, but maybe you will. So for a while I’ve been thinking about doing a feature like I did in episode 1 of this season. Ask me anything, each episode. But the more I think about it, the more I realize, you know, I only have so much advice to give given my experience as one person. But then I thought, wait, what if y’all could answer questions? Wouldn’t that be amazing to be able to put our collective brilliance together and support each other? So listen into the end for that invitation as well as for the winner of our second giveaway.

[00:01:27] [MUSIC]

[00:01:30] Love Curvy Yoga is brought to you by the annual Curvy Yoga Studio Sale. So our annual sale is on December 28th (that’s tomorrow if you’re listening in real time) through January 4th. And we would love to have you join us! During the sale you can save 20 percent on your membership and join us for just twenty dollars a month (regular twenty five) or one hundred ninety seven dollars a year (regular 250). We have mobile and TV apps coming by mid January! So now really is the perfect time to join. Visit the link in our show notes at curvyyoga.studio/join and use the code 2020 to join us and save.

[00:02:15] [MUSIC]

[00:02:18] OK. So I was going to cover my word of the year this week, but instead I decided to do that next week — both because I thought of something else I really wanted to share with you first and because I’m still noodling just a little bit on my word of the year. So that’s coming next week.

[00:02:37] So this week, I want to talk about your practice and both how to see the hamster wheel that can happen with it sometimes and create a practice that actually works for you. I think this is important as we are heading into a new year. I know that it’s likely you may be thinking about your practice at this time. I know that I am. So I wanted to get into this.

[00:03:03] In our Studio bonus podcast this month, I talked about how to have your best practice year yet without discipline, self judgment or shame. Now, these Studio bonus podcasts are usually only available to our Studio members, but this one was available for everybody, which is why I’m bringing it up, as part of our December Goodies. So if you did not see that come out on email, I will link it for you in the show notes if you want to listen. And I also have a transcript there, if you would rather read it. In a nutshell, I talked about: first of all, why would you want a practice without discipline, self judgment or shame? Some of that might seem obvious, but maybe some of it a little less so. And then we talked about a few ways to approach your practice in the new year, including qualities you might want to invite in, moving from should to could, and dealing with challenging emotional states while you’re practicing. So to build on that, today I want to talk about that hamster wheel that I mentioned, because I think when you know about it, just when you know that it exists and what you can do instead, that it could be really important scaffolding for your practice this year. It’s something that I have really observed in both my own practice and in other people’s practice for a long time. And it’s one of those things that I wish I could just automatically download into the brain of every person who ever steps onto a yoga mat, because it really can be that freeing.

[00:04:42] OK, so I’m going to just talk through some of the things that you, or someone, might experience, think, etc. in this hamster wheel process. So the first part is before you even get on, and this is the planning phase. So this is the honeymoon phase. Everything here is really fun, exciting. You are finding classes on the Studio or looking up local classes in your area and putting them on your calendar. You really can just see this idealized version of yourself as a quote unquote yogi, which usually means someone who effortlessly does yoga and would never rather just stay home and watch Netflix because it rained earlier in the day and you just cannot with leaving your house again.

[00:05:36] So with the hamster wheel. OK. So we’ve done our planning. Now we’re gonna get started on day one, and your days may vary, so I’m just gonna go straight through a week, essentially. But, you know, this might take you a month. That part doesn’t really matter. It’s more the overall process. So day one, some things you might be thinking or experiencing, this is the enthusiastic part. So you do your practice and it was pretty good! You got distracted a couple of times. You maybe didn’t leave on cloud nine, but still you’re at least on cloud seven and a half. Operation Real Yogi is underway.

[00:06:19] Day two is adapting. “We are doing this!” Huh. But you might be a little more tired than you thought you would be. And ugh, is that another e-mail from your boss that you need to answer before you can get started? Wait, how did that take forty five minutes?! Okay, it’s fine. You’ll just do a little shorter practice and it’s all good. You’re at least on cloud five point seven five after.

[00:06:47] Day three is making it work. You might be thinking, “I need to practice yoga today, but when? I have to drop the kids off early, I have that board meeting after work tonight. I guess I’ll squeeze in a short practice before bed. OK. Ah. Yeah, I’m glad I did that.”.

[00:07:05] Day four is the oops day. The whole day goes by and you completely forget about it.

[00:07:14] That means day five is the buckle down day. You may be thinking, “Ugh! I totally forgot to do my practice yesterday! What is wrong with me? Today I am going to do it no matter what (obviously said through gritted teeth).” And after the practice you may be thinking, “is it weird that I felt distracted and resentful during the practice? Oh, well, at least I did it. I can mark that off the list.”.

[00:07:40] Day six is back to it. Maybe you had some extra time today, so you got in a longer practice. Delightful. Back to cloud seven point five.

[00:07:51] Day seven, break day. You may be thinking, “you know, I did a really great practice yesterday, so I’m good for today.”.

[00:08:00] And then day eight is: What is yoga? You’re kind of like, what am I doing? You might forget about it. You kind of feel like you’re in a little bit of a fog.

[00:08:12] So. Does any of this sound familiar to you? It definitely does to me! And if it does, that’s might be because it’s really similar to a lot of other hamster wheels and cycles that we have. Let’s just take dieting as one perfect example. So in dieting there is very much the cycle of get on the wheel, get off, get back on again. And we almost always think that the answer is to just do that whole thing again, get back on the wheel, but with more willpower. But guess what? Willpower is a scam! It’s not a thing. Being harder on yourself does not work. So what you have to do is get out, get off that wheel entirely and into something else.

[00:09:13] And that something else is listening to what’s true for you. I know that might also seem like a scam or something that is very difficult to do, and I’m not saying that it’s not. It’s kind of like, or it’s not unlike rather, shifting from dieting to health at every size or intuitive eating. t’s clunky. You will think it’s a bad idea probably at least half the time. You will give up, get back on the hamster wheel, probably many times. But none of that means that you’re doing it wrong. It’s all just part of it.

[00:09:52] So what works instead? Slow, so longer than an eight day cycle, even if your days are longer than eight days. Flexible, so to fit your needs without the need for recrimination or repentance. That’s really key. Something that is loving, kind, gentle, allowing, tender, and sweet. And we actually have a bit of a framework for this within Curvy Yoga that we call Curvy Yoga Practice.

[00:10:28] So Curvy Yoga Practice has four components to it and the first is presence. So just taking a moment to check in with yourself, land in your body. I like to take a deep breath or maybe feel my feet on the ground, lengthen my spine, just kind of come into the moment. Because the hamster wheel doesn’t require presence. It’s more just kind of plug and play. And this new approach is something that requires you to check in with yourself. And this does not have to take forever. Most of the time for me, it just takes a few seconds, maybe a minute. It’s really kind of creating that new habit of checking in.

[00:11:17] So the second component is getting curious. So here you are, you have taken a breath, maybe you felt your feet on the floor. And then here comes the check in part where you might ask yourself a question like, what do I need today? How am I feeling? What would really serve me in a way that I need it to today?

[00:11:41] The next component is challenge, which is to just challenge any thoughts that come up that: this doesn’t count, this isn’t a good idea, that you should be doing something different, or any thoughts that come up about your body, your abilities, etc.. This is just a time when these kinds of things tend to come in, so it’s good to know, “OK, if this comes up, it’s not surprising. It’s not a sign. It’s just something for me to work with.”.

[00:12:13] And then the fourth component is affirm, which is really just being on your body’s side, and that includes affirming whatever plan you have made.

[00:12:26] Now, is this process fancy? No. Does it take you through those highest highs of the planning phase or the lowest lows of the hamster wheel? No. Will you feel like a failure who can never do anything right, which is something that comes up a lot with the hamster wheel? You know, it’s certainly possible, but it definitely is something that happens less and less the more that you are rooting your practice into your lived experience and your needs. Can yoga become a refuge and not a place to feel worse about yourself? Yes, that is the whole point.

[00:13:09] And it’s important to say, because I think we have this confusion in our society, that if we are doing something that meets our needs, that it means we’ll just be laying around all the time. That’s not the case. So what I have found is that actually the more attuned I am to what’s going on with my body on any given day, the more I move my body. And that’s not consistently every day. It just kind of depends. But I have personally not experienced, “OK. I’m going to tune into my body, and that means all I will ever do is lay down.” Now, will you go through a period of laying down? Yeah, probably! We all need that! So there’s different times in the day or your life or the season that you’re in or whatever where it is appropriate for you to be doing a lot of restorative yoga. That’s not what the concern is, though. The concern is generally, is this all I will do for the rest of my life? And the answer to that is no. There will be times where you’ll feel, “OK, I’m wanting to do more, I’m wanting to stretch differently, I’m wanting to move faster.” whatever the case may be.

[00:14:24] Again, this is extremely similar to the process of moving from dieting to intuitive eating, where the fear is that if you let yourself listen to your body and eat what your body is wanting and needing, that all that is going to mean is you just eat candy all day, every day for the rest of your life. When in reality that would not feel good to your body and you would not do that if you were listening to your body. Might you go through a phase where you let yourself eat a bunch of things that you didn’t give yourself permission to eat before? Sure. But then you start to find a calibration that works for you and you go through times where you do that more and times where you do that less and everything in between.

[00:15:09] So as we turn the corner to the new year, I hope that you will gently invite yourself off of the yoga practice hamster wheel and turn towards the idea of practice as a conversation with yourself. And really, and I think this part is so important and is really why I continue to practice and teach yoga ,as a place to practice what you most need and want in your life. That is my new year practice wish for all of us. Up next, an invitation.

[00:15:46] [MUSIC]

[00:15:57] OK, so first, a reminder that our annual sale on online studio memberships starts tomorrow (if you’re listing in real time) December 28 and runs through January 4th. You can join our studio for just twenty dollars a month (regularly twenty five) or two hundred dollars a year (regular 250), which is four months free over the regular monthly price. So you can get the link in the show notes to join and use the code 2020 to save.

[00:16:30] OK. So we have another give away, our second that we were going to do leading up to the end of the year, start of the new year. And so we had people send in responses this past week, and the question that I asked was, what is one thing that you learned in the past decade? And these were all so good. I’m gonna share all the ones that came in. So Vivian said: “diets don’t work.” Amen! Dawn says, “I have learned not to dwell on the past. The future holds so many possibilities!” Becca says, “I am not a burden. This was a huge hang up for me. I was always concerned with being too much for people to handle, as this was the message I received throughout childhood and well into my 20s. But now I feel free to take up space and to not hide who I am.” Oof, that one is so beautiful. The next one is from Alicia, who says, “I am not broken and everyone is dealing with stuff, even if you can’t tell externally. And actually I think a lot of people are dealing with similar things as I am. I’ve realized there isn’t really a normal. There’s mostly just being a human. I’ve been trying to give myself some grace around this concept and use the yoga and mindfulness tools I have been developing to empower myself. It’s only taken me 40 years to get here, but here I am!” Yes!! I always feel like now is the perfect time to be where you are. I just love this one so much. Jennifer says “that I am way more powerful than I ever knew. Marriage, motherhood, a move across the US, death and so many little things all blew me out of the water. And yet here I am. And life is good.” Love it. Carly says, “if I set intentions with a grateful and curious heart, good things often result.” I have a feeling Carly knows how much I love the word curious that is so good. Lori says, “Our bodies are always trying to communicate with us. And yoga helps us learn how to listen.” Yes! Obviously, I’m like a plus 1 million on that one. And Karen sent in from last week’s question, her favorite poses for the holiday and they are happy baby and legs up the wall. I’m really with you on legs up the wall. I actually did that on Christmas night because I was like, phew! It was a good day, but it was a really full day. And I just felt like I needed some grounding and some rest in order to kind of wine down for bedtime. So thank you so much to everybody who sent in what you learned in the past decade. I feel like that right there is a really good list for us all to kind of resonate with. And I picked a winner, just did a random number thing, and the winner is Dawn. So I will email you to get that set up. Congratulations!

[00:19:30] The other thing is I asked a question at the very, very end of the last episode. So that’s something I’m doing if you want to keep your ear out for the very end. And I asked what your Myers Briggs is, if you’re familiar with that kind of personality hyping thing. And Carly sent hers in, and said she’s an INFJ. And so am I.

[00:19:51] OK. So the invitation for this week. Let’s try the thing that I mentioned at the beginning of the episode and answer each other’s questions. So first step, we need questions. So if you have a question about yoga and or body acceptance, you know, however tangential it may be, because, you know, we cover a wide range of things on this podcast. Send it in and then I’ll share it in an upcoming episode and folks can send in their responses. And I will obviously also chime in, but I thought it would be fun if we can all contribute. So to send in a question, email me at podcast@curvyyoga.com,. text me at 615-852-8789, or tag or DM me on Instagram @Curvy Yoga. So I’ll make a list of whatever comes in and we can just work through the list as we receive questions. So let’s close with one breath together. We’ll inhale. And exhale. The light in me honors the light in you. Namaste.

[00:21:03] [MUSIC]

[00:21:10] Stay tuned next week when I will be talking about my word of the year for 2020 and also offering some suggestions for considering yours. Also, inquiring minds want to know: what helps you get off the yoga practice hamster wheel? E-mail me at podcast@curvyyoga.com, text me at 615-852-8789, or tag or DM on Instagram @CurvyYoga.