My bandwidth is in the dumpster. How about you? (Season 7, Episode 16)

I’ve noticed recently that my own bandwidth is greatly diminished. I started out social distancing with a positive attitude and a lot of energy. We are doing quite a bit as a family right now, and I was keeping it all up, as well as work and everyday life. I told my therapist that things were going well.

And that was true. Ish.

In this episode, I talk about the -ish part of things, how to notice and meet your own bandwidth, the advice I don’t have, and the reminders I want to share.

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Transcript

(00:05):
Welcome to Love, Curvy Yoga, the podcast where we know without a doubt that you are doing your absolute best right now, and that it is enough. Now let’s get into it.

(00:20):
Hi, Anna here. For a couple of years after I closed my yoga studio in Nashville, I taught a weekly class at my house. It was a really small group, so we all got to know each other pretty well. And when I taught at the studio, I didn’t usually start class this way. But over time, as our group became more close knit at my house, I began to start with a check-in. I would usually ask some variation of what do you need in your body? How are you feeling? And that kind of feels like the right way to start this conversation too. So even though I can’t hear your responses in this moment, I invite you to still respond yourself and bring the answers into your heart. So how are you feeling? What do you need in your body? Okay. So now that we have started from this place of checking in, let’s move into the main segment where we’re going to expand this conversation. That’s coming up next.

(01:31):
[MUSIC]

(01:35):
So I have been seeing a lot of advice out there about how to handle things during this pandemic and I totally get it. I think that people’s hearts are in the right place and we definitely need to be sharing tips and resources that are helpful. But I feel like I don’t have any advice. I think that advice if and when it’s ever helpful is maybe helpful only from someone who’s been down the road a little bit further than you have. But we’re all walking this road together. None of us has been here before, so it makes sense to me that we look a lot like my daughter as she is learning to walk right now, which is sometimes wobbly, sometimes confident, sometimes we think we know what we’re doing and then we just plonk down on our butts unexpectedly. So this has never been an advice podcast and it definitely isn’t right now. Um, all I really have is a suggestion that if this talk of bandwidth that I’m about to discuss resonates with you, that you take a little bit of time to explore it. And that if you’re tired or overstimulated or overwhelmed that you just turn this off and maybe take a minutes for yourself instead.

(03:02):
Okay, so a month or so ago, my Ayurvedic teacher and practitioner, Danielle wrote a blog post about cultivating bandwidth in menopause. And even though I am not in that season of life yet, it resonated with me and I just kind of tucked it away somewhere in the back of my mind. And in the piece which I will link to in the show notes, she says “for me, one of the main things I have noticed for menopause is that the bandwidth I have relied on for the majority of my adult life has changed. But the more I’ve been thinking about it, the more I’m wondering if it’s more my willingness to push myself with the force of a tidal wave through everything that comes my way that has shifted. I’m not sure yet, but I do think it may be a bit of both.” She goes on to talk about the body’s wisdom and how as we try to live in harmony with it, our body responds with support for what we need.

(04:02):
And the reason I’ve been thinking about this idea lately is because I have noticed that my own bandwidth is greatly diminished. So I started out social distancing with a pretty positive attitude and a lot of energy. We are doing a lot as a family right now, but I was keeping up with it as well as work and everyday life. I distinctly remember, especially because my therapist reminded me of it yesterday, that I told her that things were going well, that we already had a lifestyle that was relatively conducive to being stuck at home and that’s true. Ish.

(04:46):
So as time has gone on, I don’t know if things are getting harder or if I’m letting in my feelings more or both. Honestly, probably both. But I just don’t have the energy to push myself in the same ways. It’s not there. I am having a hard time concentrating. I don’t make decisions as quickly or easily as I usually do. I am on the brink of tears fairly often and I’m not really a crier as I’ve shared here before and I’m also just more tired than usual even though I have been sleeping relatively well. So as I’m sure you know I am not at all, like negative a million percent, about increasing bandwidth to increase productivity, but I do think it can be valuable to notice what yours is so that you can work with it rather than against it, which I think is pretty common and something that I think this time is maybe calling into question.

(05:54):
So for example, since mine is currently quite a bit lower, I’m not so much working to increase it so that I can do more. It’s more like what I’m doing is checking in regularly throughout the day, noticing what feels possible, prioritizing the must-dos and moving other things from today’s to do list to tomorrow, next week or possibly never depending on what it is, especially if it’s something I added. Now let me just acknowledge that, of course we’re all in different positions and have different abilities to do these things. But I think no matter what, there are sometimes things that we can look at on our own to do lists or what we’re hoping to accomplish or whatever, and see is this particular item something that can wait and what is really possible within my current energy capacity and bandwidth.

(06:52):
So just for a very small example, for a while I was enjoying writing letters to a different friend each day as part of our stay home plan. But right now every day I would just see a letter to write on my list and I just felt like I do not have it in me to do that today. So I stopped. And this is something that might be a never, and that’s why I wanted to mention it because it’s something that I added to my list because I wanted to do it. And in the past I would have felt obligated to continue even though no one else knew about my plan but me. But now I just feel like if and when a time comes again that I want to do it, I’ll make time for it. But otherwise, no.

(07:43):
So I would say that moving my body and meditating are definitely helping, uh, with my bandwidth. And I used to meditate for 10 minutes in the morning and now since Covid-19, I have been steadily increasing my meditation. And it’s not because I think it’s a good idea or because this is a good time for a self improvement project. I don’t think that it is. Also meditation and yoga are not for self-improvement; they’re for being with yourself. But I have increased it because it just literally feels like I can’t make it through the day without it.

(08:23):
So I don’t know what your personal bandwidth is right now. It might be increased, it might be the same. It might be decreased. You might have no idea whatsoever. That was true for me for quite a while and you might cycle through all of those multiple times per day. I know that that’s true for me. So I guess if I’m encouraging you to do anything, it’s just to consider to begin noticing, to continue noticing your own bandwidth and seeing how you can respond and shift that accordingly to meet yourself where you are. So up next a few reminders and they’re a little bit different this time.

(09:04):
[MUSIC]

(09:13):
Usually during reminders, I do housekeeping stuff and I do have one quick thing about that in a moment, but here are the real reminders that I want to share with you. If you want it, your practice is there to support you and by practice I mean anything from one breath to whatever else would serve you. No one else knows how to do this better than you. Your pandemic how to book was not lost in the mail while the rest of us sit at home happily perusing ours. If food is hard right now, you’re not alone. If staying on your body’s side is hard right now, you’re not alone. If even thinking about yoga is hard right now, you’re not alone. Being a human is always hard, but it’s especially challenging to human right now. My therapist recently sent an email to her clients and she suggested prioritizing the basics, sleep, feeding your body, whatever grounds you, moving your body and kind ways, et cetera. And I found that to be a really valuable reminder. We’re in this together and I am so grateful for you and really deeply glad to be connected with you in this way.

(10:43):
All right, so I hope you can let those just sink in, resonate in whatever ways they do.

(10:50):
.And here is the quick logistical reminder I mentioned. So if you’re interested in that article, you can check out the show notes for that link. And then in the studio, I totally changed our plan for April on March 31st. So our new theme is daily practices to support you in the ways that you need right now. And so what we’re going to do is a little bit different than what we’ve done in the past. Each day of the week is going to have a different type of way to work with your movement to work with your energy. So Sundays we’re going to start with a new practice to just start off the week with a fresh perspective. Mondays will be grounding, so creating what you need to meet the week as it unfolds. Tuesdays will be balance, so practicing what you need off of the mat on the mat. Wednesdays will be flow moving your body and energy during this bridge time of the week. Thursday is strength building, so reminding yourself you have what you need inside you. Friday is embodiments, so reconnecting with your body as you move into the weekend and Saturdays are for rest, giving yourself a chance to recharge.

(12:07):
So of course there’s bits and pieces of all of these in each of the practices, but if that is something that would be supportive for you, you’re welcome to join us at curvyyoga.studio and you can use the code curvy, so C U R V Y to save 50% off of your first month. And if you’re already a member, it’s already up there. Just go to the April, 2020 category, which is near the top.

(12:32):
Okay, so questions, comments, et cetera, ideas. Send it to me, podcast@curvyyoga.com and let’s close with one breath together. Inhale and exhale. The light in me honors the light in you. Namaste.

(12:53):
[MUSIC]

(12:59):
Because every day is like a year right now, I have no idea what will feel relevant next week. So stay tuned and we’ll figure it out together.