Okay, today I’m talking about something that has really been in my face lately: at the grocery store, in the doctor’s office, and more.

Are you ready?

It’s how obsessed people are with chunky thighs, big bellies, and other forms of round cuteness.

Not on me, of course. But on my baby.

Obviously I’m aware that people are into this, but just how into it they are has been a bit mind-boggling, particularly in contrast to our society’s messages about round body parts past the age of, say, one. 

So in this episode I’m exploring how I think we get so into rolls on babies precisely because we force ourselves to think they’re “bad” when we’re older, when this slippage begins, and how we can reclaim some of that loving energy for ourselves at any age.

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Transcript

[00:00:05] Welcome to Love Curvy Yoga, the podcast where we believe that attuned movement, movement that’s informed by what you notice and how you feel, makes movement sustainable and enjoyable in a way that also deepens your connection with your inner knowing. Now let’s get into it.

[00:00:22] [MUSIC]

[00:00:26] Hi. How are you? How is the new year treating you so far? My update is basically the same as last week where things have been pretty good, except remember how I told you that I got a stomach bug? Well, Nic got it. So I’m really crossing my fingers and toes, send me all the good vibes, that this time next week I won’t also be telling you that Hazel got it.

[00:00:53] OK. So today I’m going to be talking about something that I have been noticing in just such an unbelievably big way. It’s really been in my face. So this is a shorty episode, but I really wanted to talk with you about this. OK. More on that in just a moment.

[00:01:12] [MUSIC]

[00:01:16] This episode is brought to you by yourself and people just like you! Thank you so much for supporting Curvy Yoga by sharing the good word and just overall being so awesome.

[00:01:29] [MUSIC]

[00:01:34] OK. So I said I would share something that I have been noticing lately. And here it is. People are obsessed — like, just visualize that in all caps, bright lights — obsessed with round bellies and chunky thighs. Like, they cannot get enough of them, they will stop me at the grocery store, make a special trip to see them. Now, are we talking about my own round belly and chunky thighs? Of course not. We are talking about my nearly one year old daughter Hazel’s.

[00:02:14] So I am sure you already know that people are pretty into rolls on babies. I knew this before I had a baby, too, but it’s really, I can’t overstate how next level it is and how stark the difference is between how we experience this in babies and how we experience this in basically anyone else.

[00:02:41] So what I’ve been thinking about lately is how I wonder if the reason people are so into a baby’s chunky thighs — actually, before I go on, let me just give you an example. So Hazel had a doctor’s appointment a couple months ago, and we’re in the appointment and the nurse was exclaiming over her wonderfully chunky thighs, squeezing them. We were like, we know they’re so cute. And then another person came into the room and before she looked at us or did anything, she looked at Hazel, squeezed her thighs and was like, girl. These are amazing. I heard I had to see these. And then she looked it up us and was like, oh, hi. I knew that I had to come and see these, someone else already told me about it. And I was just like, oh my gosh, word has traveled around the office. Someone who didn’t even need to be part of this appointment stopped their day to come over and see a person’s chunky thighs — a baby, but still a person.

[00:03:52] So going back to what I was saying a minute ago, it really makes me wonder if the reason we are just really overboard about this is because we make ourselves think that chunky thighs or thunder thighs, thick thighs however you want to say it is a bad idea in adults. I’s kind of like this inverse relationship where we have to get all of our adulation in while we can, because it’s only a matter of time until these thighs will be deemed unacceptable by society. Well, yeah, by society, definitely not by me personally. I’ll be working my hardest to make sure that’s not true for Hazel and that she loves and accepts her thighs in whatever iteration they’re in at any given moment. But, you know what I mean.

[00:04:46] And it also makes me think about what it would be like to bring some of that cooing, oohing, ahhing, love to our own round bellies and chunky thighs. Because let me tell you, I feel like I’m pretty body accepting and pretty positive about my body. But if I gave myself even 2 percent of what Hazel gets, I would experience it as so over the top. I would not even know what to do with myself. I would be like, calm down, Anna! They are not that great.

[00:05:23] So here is a question: when do you think this slippage begins? That space between my coworker told me to stop by, interrupt my day, and check out these thighs and ew, your thighs. You’ve got to do something about this.

[00:05:43] I don’t even think we think about it as being on the same continuum, but oh my gosh, it 100 percent is. And I would say for me it was definitely as a pretty little kid. You might have heard me share something about this in the past, but part of what contributed in my own childhood to me being on a bunch of diets was my pediatrician telling my mom that I was too high, quote unquote on the growth chart and she needed to rein me in, essentially. Now, being a parent myself at this point, I know what the growth chart is and the B.S. ways that it’s been used against kids. And it’s all just really complicated. And I was thinking, you know, how long do we let kids, people, enjoy they’re round bodies until we’re like uh oh. And I was thinking maybe it’s like three? At the oldest?! And that’s probably a stretch because I know that plenty of people are told that their babies under the age of one are quote unquote, too big. I mean, it’s all scare quotes, right?

[00:07:04] So, this is a question that I often ask myself, and it is what can I unwind here and what can I reclaim? Because there’s something interesting in thinking about all the passion and joy we put into just really being so happy with babies’ bodies and then how little of that we give to anyone over a certain age, and as we’ve just discussed, it’s quite young. So one of the ways that I have done this for myself is breaking down where that slippage happened in my own life like I was just talking about with the pediatrician. Another way this became apparent to me when I was in my early 20s, I was seeing a therapist for the first time talking about all these diets that I was on as a kid and how my parents always wanted me to lose weight. And she just stopped me and was like, you know, you were just growing, right?

[00:08:11] And, no! I did not know that, obviously. It had never occurred to me. I had only experienced that as problematic as a kid. Because that’s how it was cast to me by the adults around me. So as a mom, I’m really seeing in a new way just how made up all of this is.

[00:08:36] It’s like if her thighs are chunky in 5, 10 or 20 years and they’re not celebrated, which hopefully they will be by then, it’s not her body that will change. It’s just the way that it fits in the cultural narrative. And that for me has been a really good reminder, not that I need one because they’re everywhere, but that many of our cultural narratives are rooted in various forms of oppression and are basically total B.S. I was going to say they’re rooted in B.S. Also that.

[00:09:08] So give your thick thighs or your round belly a little squeeze of delight today because you are the one who gets to define them for yourself. No one else.

[00:09:20] OK. Up next, your words of the year — and more.

[00:09:25] [MUSIC]

[00:09:31] Okay, so before we get to the word of the year’s, words of the year? That’s probably better.

[00:09:38] A quick update that our apps are here. So if you are listening and you’re a Curvy Yoga Studio member, I sent an e-mail about it, but in case you didn’t get it or whatever. Just a reminder that you can now go download our apps. So we have iOS. So iPhone and iPad. Apple TV, Roku, Fire TV and Android. All of that is now available. So you can just go to those respective app stores, download (just look for Curvy Yoga Studio, that’s the fastest, easiest way), download it, log in and voila.

[00:10:19] So I’m really excited. It’s funny because we’ve been thinking about doing this forever and it’s been very difficult to find a way to do it. So the fact that it’s happening now is kind of surreal. It’s like what? Oh, our apps are actually here! You know, we turn on our Roku and there it is. The app is on my phone. So I hope that you really enjoy it. If you’re not already a member, you can join and go get the app same as our current members and get practicing. And we will also have Android TV; that’s still in process and that should be ready by the end of January.

[00:10:57] OK. So let’s talk about these words of the year. I’m just going to consensus on my own decide that that’s how we’re gonna say it as the plural. So Alicia e-mailed in and said that she has heard me talking about this idea of word of the year, which I should just mention if you didn’t listen to the last episode, is this process where, process, practice, whatever, where you choose a word or kind of an intention is a way to think about it for your year. So in our last episode, I talked about the one that I have chosen for 2020, which is aliveness. And Alicia said that while she was listening to the episode, she thought of the word release and she said, “I close my eyes and sat with it for a few moments, taking some slow, steady breaths, repeating the word in my mind on each exhale. And it just felt right. I didn’t put much thought into what the word would be, but I don’t think I need to go any further further. I think it found me.”.

[00:12:00] And I just love that so much because I think that’s how it unfolds. You can definitely do journaling, thinking or reflecting whatever to find your word. But even when you do that, I in my experience, there is this moment where it just kind of boop appears, drops in, however you want to phrase it. So I love that this happened for you, Alicia, thank you for sharing. And I can’t wait to hear how the word unfolds for you.

[00:12:34] So Kim also emailed in and she said, and this is so incredible, that she’s been doing this process for about twenty five years and it’s always an adventure. She says, “I think I mean, one thing and the universe means something else entirely.” Hello? Yes. Raising my hand to that, I have that experience basically every year. So she said “this year’s word is passion. I fought it a good bit. Truly. I denied it. Words usually come to me in October-ish and hang out until Christmas Eve, which is when I wish them into being. She said that passion came early, but she didn’t want it, that it felt really risky. 2019 was sanctuary, a more relaxed and contented request that made for a less dramatic year. I know the big words wreak havoc.” Oh my gosh, that’s so true. I emailed Kim back and was like I have had that experience. So she said “passion is the only one that showed up. And I finally just took it. I mean for it to be about finding out what fuels me at this ripe age, returning to create a pursuits and the wild woods. At the same time, I know the universe has its own idea. We will see.” Beautiful. I really appreciate you sharing that because I resonated with so much of it. And just like I said with Alicia, I can’t wait to see how this one shows up for you this year.

[00:13:57] So we also talked about words of the year on Instagram and some people shared. I like hearing everybody’s words. It makes me happy to hear them. And I feel like if you are interested in this practice and you haven’t chosen a word, sometimes hearing someone else’s inspires me — either to take the same word, but also sometimes I’m like, oh, they said this one. And that makes me think of that. And that inspires my words.

[00:14:23] Helen shared that hers is enough. Grace said Creativity and pilgrim. Laurie said acceptance. Christy’s is savor — such a good one. Denise is tend. Sarah is explore. Carly is sweet. Cori is ease. Lisa is vision. Janet is happy and freedom. And that’s something to mention. You can choose more than one word! So sometimes you have one word and then there’s other words that support it. Sometimes you have two or more. You know, it’s your practice and your life, so you just choose whatever resonates with you. And it’s definitely not too late. I actually know somebody who intentionally waits until February to choose hers. And I really like that idea. She kind of lets the year start to settle just a little bit. And then is like, OK, now I’m ready to move forward.

[00:15:17] OK, so we’re ready to wrap up here. Let’s close with one breath together. We’ll inhale. And exhale. The light in me honors the light in you. Namaste.

[00:15:33] [MUSIC]

[00:15:38] Stay tuned next week when we’ll be talking about what makes you come alive, why it matters both on and off the yoga mat, and how it can be a really powerful way to connect with your yoga practice that doesn’t involve you being really hard on yourself. Not that I have any experience in that regard.