What Themes Show Up When You Show Yourself Kindness? (Season 7, Episode 12)

This month we’ve been seeing what it’s like to practice 29 days of kindness toward ourselves. In this episode, I share some of the things that came up for me personally, the themes that emerged, and the power of looking for your own themes to discover what they have to teach you.

Listen In

Click here to listen — or subscribe to “Love, Curvy Yoga” wherever you listen to podcasts to make sure you never miss an episode!

Links for you

Transcript

(00:02):

[MUSIC],

(00:05):

Welcome to Love, Curvy Yoga, the podcast where we believe showing yourself kindness opens the door to the life you want to live. Now let’s get into it. Hi! Anna here. How are you? Things here are good. We’ve had quite a bit of sunshine the past week or two, so I have got a little spring in my step. I actually really enjoy the gray and rain of the Pacific Northwest. People always ask me like, ah, how’s the rain? And it, it really doesn’t bother me but it is nice to switch it up. Plus daffodils are blooming in my backyard. So there you go. We are in a busy season over here as a family. So in my practice I’ve really been focusing on quiet and finding internal stillness even while I’m moving and doing more active poses on the mat because that is something that I also need to be cultivating in my everyday life. So I kind of think of that as just one way of showing myself kindness on the mat. And up next we are going to talk more about what that looks like in everyday life with 29 days of kindness.

(01:22):

[MUSIC]

(01:30):

As you may know, this month in February, our theme in our online yoga studio has been 29 days of kindness. So clearly if you’re listening in real time, we still have one more day to go. But I thought I would go ahead and share what my personal experience has been like. In the studio we have suggested practices and prompts for every day of the month and then here on the podcast I invited you to make notes when you noticed that you were showing kindness to yourself because that’s something that I decided to start doing during the month and I was curious to hear what you shared. So if you did that, I would love to hear your observations. You can email them to me podcast@curvyyoga.com and if I receive any then I will share them next time.

(02:19):

So here are some of the notes that I made throughout the month and I thought we could talk about kind of the larger context of how this can show up in all of our lives.

(02:32):

So February 3rd and I just have kind of chosen a few random ones throughout the month. So here’s mine for February 3rd today I put on socks and boots before our walk. I almost put on my regular shoes, which um, I wear barefoot. But Nick said that it was cold and the last few days on the walk, my feet have been freezing when we get home. So I took the extra 30 seconds like I never would have before, not so much because it would inconvenience other people though that’s part of it, but more because I poo-pooed my own comfort. So I was just like, whatever. I’ll just put on these shoes even though my feet will be freezing. So this was a really interesting one because what it made me see is how easily I dismiss my own comfort as something that’s not important. And then kind of the flip side of that, how simple, easy and quick it was to have basically like a major life upgrade because while I was walking, I felt a lot warmer. And when I got home, I was not chilled to the bone because my feet were cold. Because I have on like you know a regular wintery outfit and a coat and a hat and gloves, all of that. But when your feet are still cold, you’re still cold. Okay.

(03:52):

So February 4th I had to spend an unexpected two hours on tax stuff so I didn’t get to everything else on my list. Now normally this is something that I would feel bad about or try to get it done anyway. But today I reminded myself that you cannot add two hours of extra work to the day and also do everything else and that’s okay. This is another one that maybe seems small, but for me is huge because like in the note, I definitely in the past would’ve been like, well, it doesn’t matter that I had to do two hours of extra work. I still need to work at night or stay up later. Or if I didn’t make myself do it, I would feel really bad about it. And then maybe wake up early the next day or work like a maniac the next day or whatever. So just kind of being like, okay, things have changed and that means things have to change was a good recalibration.

(04:51):

February 6th I let myself receive a compliment. Um, y’all, I’m very bad at this, but I’m working on it. So the fact that I did it, I was like, okay, gotta write this down as a kindness that I showed to myself.

(05:08):

February 9th I took the weekend off something that I never do entirely. And when I say off, it’s not like I just lounged around. I just took one of the weekend off of basically email and curvy yoga work. And another thing that I did that weekend is that I had a really weird dream and it was one of those right before you wake up in the morning dreams, which I feel like are always kind of more intense. And it just was lingering with me while I was waking up. So I stood up and then I just physically shook my body. Like I shook out every limb and took some deep breaths and did some big exhales. It took maybe one minute and it made a really big difference. I didn’t just think like, Oh, it’s fine, just get over it because I know there’s so much power in physically moving that kind of energy in your body.

(06:05):

Okay. February 11th somebody walked by and looked at me in community acupuncture. So if you haven’t done community acupuncture before, it is you’re in a big room with a bunch of recliner chairs in them, like a bunch of lazy boy type chairs and everybody is doing acupuncture at the same time. So it’s a a communal space. So somebody walked by me in there and I simultaneously noticed that I was sitting in such a way that made my belly pooch out more than usual. And I noticed that I was very cozy. So I had this really quick instinct to move and shift my shirt and make my belly look smaller, which is something I’ve done a million times. But instead I was like, you know, I’m cozy right here. I’m going to stay. And this was all, again, just a split second thing.

(06:59):

Okay. February 12th, I let myself be in a bad mood for a bit rather than talking myself out of it or being hard on myself for it. Instead I just felt it and eventually it moved on. It really didn’t even take that long. I didn’t write down about how long it took and it’s not like it was a black and white thing, like bad mood, good mood. Um, but just letting myself feel it was an act of kindness for sure.

(07:26):

Uh, February 18th, I started to be hard on myself for recording a video without audio because I had had the thought ahead of time that I should go ahead and change the battery in the mic pack. But I didn’t do it because I was like, Oh, I’m sure it will last. This video is not that long. But as I was in the middle of berating myself for doing that, because I had, the time that I have available to shoot is pretty precious. Like Nic has to take Hazel out of the house and it’s a big ordeal. But I just caught it and reminded myself that there’s really nothing else I could do. It’s out of my control at that point. And all I could do was do it again and that it would be fine. And guess what? It was.

(08:04):

Uh, here’s another one. February 19th took my own advice and just came back to the breath after finding myself bent over, like I was so hunched over and ruminating on something that was bothering me during my meditation. So rather than thinking, Oh, I just wasted almost my whole meditation, which was my first thought. I was like, okay, let me just sit back up and return to my breath because as I’m sure you know, that is advice I give as a teacher all of the time. So sometimes an act of kindness can be taking your own advice.

(08:45):

And then the last one I wanted to share here from February 23rd I let myself watch Netflix even though I still had some work to do after a long day of solo parenting. Nic had been out of town for work. So you might think, Oh, I just assumed that she would only do yoga to regroup. Uh, no, not always. Sometimes I also just need to veg out and relax a little bit. So that’s what I did. I watched part of a show. It was perfect. And then I went to bed.

(09:20):

So I thought we could talk about some of the themes that showed up here because I think these can show up for all of us. Like the specifics are maybe unique to me. I mean, of course they are because you’re not exactly here living my exact life. But there’s a lot of things that I think we can look towards here when working on cultivating more kindness.

(09:42):

So a big theme that came up that I noticed looking back on these notes, is giving myself a break. So this was huge in all of these cases where I noticed, Oh, I really would have been hard on myself here in the past and this time I am letting myself have a little break. And that’s interesting to me. Not only that I did that, but that it flagged my attention enough that I thought, Oh, I should write this down in my notes of ways that I’m showing myself kindness. So clearly there’s enough of a, a difference, a demarcation between my actions in the past and my actions now that I was like, Oh, this was a way that I was really showing myself kindness.

(10:27):

Another thing that came up is super, super simple self care. So we talked about this already with the whole socks and shoes things, but again, that that simple thing is kind enough to be notable, different enough from how I was in the past. And it’s just such a good reminder that none of this has to be complicated or earth shattering or a huge breakthrough. I mean, not to say if you have any of that, that that’s wrong. I think that’s amazing. But most of the time showing ourself kindness is pretty simple.

(11:07):

In fact, many of the examples that I gave time is kind of another observation here, were also really quick. So I gave an example of, Oh, I started to have this thought. I caught it, I shifted that thought. I noticed I was having these feelings instead of making those feelings wrong, I felt them. So this is kind of underlining that point of it can be relatively quick and simple.

(11:33):

And then I think another theme here is letting yourself feel and be human. So noticing, Oh I am having a different reaction than I thought I would or I am tired and I need to watch a little bit of Netflix and that’s okay. Um, all of those are such important acts of kindness that I think are really relevant to all of this.

(12:00):

So I would say time limited experiments like this, the 29 days that we have had, um, can really be useful because they focus your attention. So I am sure that I do things like this other months, too, at least sometimes, but it’s not on my radar in the same way. So I’m not like, Oh, there’s a way that I just showed myself kindness. How interesting. And then wrote it down. I mean they wrote it down part is just something that I like to do. It’s not something you would have to do ever or all the time, but noting it to yourself is really powerful regardless of writing it down. And I think it’s helpful to notice sometimes things like this because it’s a reminder that I’m actually being kinder to myself then I think I am.

(12:48):

And it’s also helpful to see the themes because that feels useful to my overall practice and process. So like giving myself a break is my number one theme by far. So how can I work with that more? How can I bring that into my practice, whether it’s on the mat or off the mat. So if you’re hearing this and you’re like, Oh, I wish I would have engaged more, or at all or whatever with the 29 days of kindness, guess what? It’s not too late. There’s 31 days (I had to pause for a moment and do the math in my mind or do the like, okay, how many?) Yeah, there’s 31 days in March and you could also do it for three days or a week. Um, there’s nothing that says it has to be a whole month. Probably a day or two could be a little bit harder to catch yourself doing it because for me, I found it was a little easier in the beginning, harder in the middle, easier in the end. So just having a little time can be useful. But I think anytime you can remind yourself, Oh, you know, kind of catch yourself trying is a phrase that I’ve heard before or let other people catch you trying. So letting yourself catch yourself trying to be kind to yourself is good encouragement in what you’re doing. It’s really another way of being kind to yourself. Okay. So up next a few reminders.

(14:12):

[MUSIC]

(14:24):

Okay. So like I mentioned earlier, studio members, we have one more day of the kind 29 and then in March our theme is going to be seasonal check-in. So we’re going to be checking in with different parts of our bodies and our beings as we prepare for the seasonal transition to spring or fall depending on what hemisphere you’re in. So I will link that for you in the show notes, and if that sounds like something you’re interested in and you’re not yet a member. You can join us at curvyyoga.studio. So I will also link that for you. All right. If you have questions, comments, ideas, et cetera, send it my way. I love to hear from you podcast@curvyyoga.com or text me at (615) 852-8789 or reach out on Instagram. I am @curvyyoga there. Okay, let’s close with one breath together. We’ll inhale and exhale. The light in me honors the light in you, Namaste.

(15:27):

[MUSIC]

(15:33):

Stay tuned next week where I will be sharing about yoga, Ayurveda and seasonal living and practice.

(15:40):

[MUSIC]