I was talking with one of our teachers lately, asking her how she was. She said, “My mind tells me I’m not that stressed, but my body says otherwise.” Um, hi — can you relate? I definitely can! So in this week’s episode we dig into why this happens and how we might invite in more alignment.
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Transcript
(00:04):
Welcome to Love, Curvy Yoga, the podcast where we believe your body has important messages for you and that yoga can help you hear them more clearly. Now let’s get into it.
(00:15):
[MUSIC]
(00:20):
Hi Anna here. Okay, let’s do our check in before we get going. So first question, how are you feeling — and I hope you give yourself the gift of really asking. This is not a place for fine; it can be a little more nuanced here. And then what do you need in your body? This can be as big or small as whatever the response your body gives you. I have been feeling a little bit better in my body this week. I think it’s mostly because I finally let go of finding a new house TODAY, which is how I’ve been feeling the past couple, I was going to say weeks, but really months would probably be correct. So it’s now settled in with me that we will probably be in this for a while and so my jaw has relaxed a little bit. Letting go. Who knew? Okay. So up next in our main segment: when your mind and body are telling you different things.
(01:47):
I was emailing with one of our Curvy Yoga teachers this week and she said, we were kind of talking about how we were feeling, what’s going on. I had asked her, how’s it going over there today? Cause I feel like we have to be kind of specific in our questions to each other. And she said, my mind tells me I’m not that stressed, but my body says otherwise. And when I responded to her I was like, uh, I needed to do a podcast on this because, um, hi, raise your hand if you can relate! Mine is waving wildly in the air. Um, I mentioned something like this a couple of weeks ago. How the more that I’m like, Oh, everything is FINE!!! the less connected I tend to be from my body. Have you seen that meme where there’s a dog at a like a desk or something and everything around him is on fire, and what it says is everything is fine? Um, yeah, it’s kinda like that.
(02:50):
So, so why does this happen? How could we miss a message from our own body? We live in this body, so it seems like we would get the messages. Well you probably know as well as I do that there are really too many reasons to count, but here are just a few. Trauma is a big one. Negative body messages telling you that your body can’t be trusted or that you don’t know how to best care for it from friends, family, doctors, media, et cetera. Cultural messages that value productivity, speed, go, go, go, living in the head more than listening to the body and so on and on and on. And of course all of these for most of us, pile on each other in one way or another, making this kind of difficult sandwich.
(03:47):
So sometimes it isn’t safe or the right time to connect more with your body. There can again be many reasons for this, some of which may be best addressed with a therapist. But assuming it is safe for you to check in with your body, let’s dig in a little bit more. So I think first it’s good to say that no one is checked in, feeling what’s going on with their body, every moment of every day. So we go on autopilot for some things and that’s okay. I mean, can you imagine having to give the same level of attention to, say, brushing your teeth now that you did when you were first learning? That would be a nightmare. So some of this is, you know, regular and fine and we’re definitely not blaming the mind. We’re on team mind and team body.
(04:41):
So what can tend to happen, especially if this is a pattern we’ve built over a long time, which it usually is, is that we build this pattern or a neural pathway if we think about it in the brain, of not listening to the body. And even if you’ve been working on creating a new pattern or a new pathway, even for a long time, it’s easy to default to the old one, especially during times of stress. And this is definitely a time of stress for everyone in one way or another.
(05:18):
So let me just share an example from my own life. Because of my lifetime of dieting, I totally disconnected from my body. I got the message both implicitly and explicitly that my body could not be trusted, that if my body’s messages were good or ones I should listen to, then I would be thin. So since I wasn’t, I better not listen to anything from my body and instead use quote unquote willpower over it instead. And that is exactly what I did or it’s exactly what I tried to with mounting frustration. So I outsourced my hunger, movement, and any other needs to the latest diet. I really didn’t need to ask myself when I was hungry because the diet told me when and what to eat. I also didn’t need to ask myself what movement I might enjoy because the diet told me what to do, at what intensity and for how long.
(06:23):
So with all of that in mind, it’s kind of only natural that since I didn’t rely on my body for any of this critical information, I wouldn’t suddenly get really good at listening to it in other areas of my life. I mean, how can you know what your gut is saying when you ignore its basic requests of hunger and fullness. It’s just, it doesn’t sound like a thing to me. It doesn’t sound possible.
(06:49):
So of course I would often say I was fine when I clearly wasn’t! I have years of chronic migraines to back that up in addition to the dieting history and of course there are many more reasons (cough, cough, patriarchy) why those of us who identify as women are also told to put on a happy face and say everything is fine. So all of this to say that if any of this sounds familiar, you’re definitely not alone.
(07:16):
For me, I find it really tempting to be hard on myself when I notice I’m checked out from my body, when my jaw is tight AF but I keep thinking I’m fine. But I’m really trying, emphasis on trying, to resist that temptation. And I invite you to as well because being hard on yourself is not going to be a helpful strategy here. But what is helpful is starting to notice your own signs. So one of mine is definitely my jaw. Another is how often I find myself telling myself, but also other people, that I’m fine when things are really hard. And that doesn’t mean I couldn’t be fine, but that I would probably benefit from looking under the hood of that a little and seeing what’s up. So in the next segment I’ll share a couple of things that you could investigate to see what some of your signs are. So up next, that segment and a few reminders.
(08:27):
Reminder, your body and mind are one. Even though we don’t always talk about them this way, actually even though we often don’t talk about them that way, no one’s mind or body is going to communicate perfectly with them. That is not even a thing. So you can take that pressure off and instead focus on cultivating a relationship with them. So an invitation to reflect on this week. Number one, what are the signs that your mind and body are telling you different things? So I mentioned my jaw and how often I’m saying fine. And number two, if you’re not sure, which is perfectly reasonable, then try an experiment this week. So just whenever you think of it throughout the day you can ask yourself how you’re feeling and see what word arises. Then check in with your body and see what sensation arises. Once you’ve done that, just see how congruent you think they are. And they don’t have to be perfectly congruent. They almost definitely will not be. But as you do this throughout the week, you may notice that there are times where they are kind of more or less aligned and that may lead you to draw some conclusions about times when it would be helpful to check in with your body more often than usual.
(09:54):
Okay. Just a couple quick logistical reminders. We are exploring inner and outer strength and flexibility the rest of may, which we have about a week or so left. And if you are not yet a member of curvy yoga studio, we would love to have you join us! You can use the code CURVY to save 50% off your first month. Okay. Questions, comments, suggestions for future episodes? I love suggestions for future episodes! Please send them to me at podcast@curvyyoga.com. Thank you as always so much for being here and for listening.
(10:35):
Let’s close with one breath together. We’ll inhale. And exhale. The light in me honors the light in you. Namaste. And I have to tell you something real quick, which is that I, as you probably know, this season we started doing transcripts and the transcript almost always translates that line, last line, as the light in me honors the light in you. No mistake. And I just love that; it brings such a smile to my face every week. And I’ve been meaning to tell you that. So namaste and no mistake.
(11:16):
[MUSIC]
(11:23):
Stay tuned next week where we’ll see what our minds and bodies have to say.